Why am I a thing?

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who know me wish I was. And my best friends threaten to throw me out of moving vehicles until I shut up.


Fancy a chat?  
Reblogged from aquato

eakies:

getting a note on a super old post

zubat:    [dog voice] oof

(Source: aquato, via barkblogs)

Reblogged from siderealscion

queen-of-hell-crowleys-daughter:

glimmeringpersonality:

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

This is literally everyday people at the theatre

omg, detergent. haha

(via natrvmanoff)

Reblogged from 5herlockholme5

5herlockholme5:

thepainofthefeels:

5herlockholme5:

ha im a piece of trash

As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?

you smooth fucker

(via rikersunderwear)

Reblogged from winterfel

I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.

(Source: winterfel, via hiddlestea)

Reblogged from officialnatasharomanoff

officialnatasharomanoff:

don’t think about clint barton holding a baby

don’t think about clint barton holding a baby

don’t think about clint barton holding HIS baby

(via natrvmanoff)

Reblogged from alotlikediana

iamaslumberbatch:

a-lot-like-diana:

so basically when you have your period and your lower back hurts it is because your hips are contracting and spreading apart, only slightly, to make room for the release of the blood and linings of your uterus. so basically your body is going through a small and mild labor to push out the dead insides of your uterus. so basically I have gone through labor and basically I don’t want children. 

why aren’t we taught this shit

(Source: alotlikediana, via beepboopbeepmachine)

Reblogged from thecarrionlibrarian
What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

WHAT ABOUT MENOPAUSE THOWOULD YOU JUST THANK HIM FOR HIS SERVICE AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAYTO FIND A NEW NOT-PREGNANT GIRLOR DOES HE DIE WHAT HAPPENS

(via herestothedesperatedasher)

Can we please have a story about this?

(via kageyawa)

(via natrvmanoff)

Reblogged from thebest-memes
sargar3000:

thebest-memes:

"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"

Yup, never going to complain about a bad day at work again

sargar3000:

thebest-memes:

"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"

Yup, never going to complain about a bad day at work again

(via talesfromthebadyears)

Reblogged from lanamparrillas

Dancing bears, painted wings. Things I almost remember, And a song someone sings. Once upon a December.

(Source: lanamparrillas, via hiddlestea)

Reblogged from unofficialhogwarts

iblamebuckybarnes:

unofficialhogwarts:

Headcanon that after the battle of Hogwarts, George dyes his hair an outrageous colour, and at first Molly is mad, but then she hears George whisper “I kept thinking it was him in the mirror”. 

image

(via rikersunderwear)